Sorry that I have been MIA for so long. Life has been quite challenging for us for a while now. I haven't wanted to blog about the issues because they affect so many people in our home.
Our family is on a journey. We thought this journey began three years ago, but it turns out that part of our course over the last three years was strongly influenced many, many years ago. It just happens that the events of three years ago placed a magnifying glass on some issues that had previously been hidden.
I have spent the last six to nine months reading a lot. Unfortunately, the majority of it has not been for pleasure (though I have discovered Ted Dekker books and have become a fanatic). Most of the reading I have been doing is non-fiction related to a wide range of medical/psychological issues.
What I am learning is that our childhood has a strong influence on us even into our adult lives. While this isn't a big surprise, the way in which it influences us and the extent to which it influences us is quite intriguing. In addition, I am learning a lot about some genetic conditions and heredity.
I am also realizing that if I don't take care of me, no one else will do it for me. I need to take care of myself first, and then I can help those who depend on me. Just like they tell you on the airplane if the oxygen masks deploy. I need to put my oxygen mask on because right now, I am oxygen deprived and I'm not functioning well.
I don't know how much or how little I will be blogging. Just keep us in your prayers as we walk down this road that God has set before us.
The kingdom of heaven is like treasure hidden in a field. When a man found it, he hid it again, and then in his joy went and sold all he had and bought that field. Again, the kingdom of heaven is like a merchant looking for fine pearls. When he found one of great value, he went away and sold everything he had and bought it. Matthew 13:44-46
Monday, March 03, 2014
Tuesday, October 22, 2013
Unconditional Love
God is teaching me A LOT about unconditional love these days. When you have a child that is choosing to not act as your child, you learn a lot about loving someone who isn't loving you back. Note, I didn't say "adopted child", because as I have found out from some friends, there are biological kids who act this way as well.
One thing I have discovered is that expectations play a lot in my "satisfaction" with this relationship. When I expect this child to reciprocate love, I quickly feel unfulfilled. However, this isn't true unconditional love. Unconditional love expects N-O-T-H-I-N-G in return - and that's hard.
It's hard to pour your life, your love and your soul into someone and get nothing in return.
One of the books I am reading about these issues compares the parent/child interaction to the spousal relationship. While this comparison isn't valid across the board, in the particular way he makes it, it is valid. One thing I have realized by thinking about the parent/child relationship in this manner is this: I cannot MAKE my child love me - it is HIS choice. And he may NEVER choose to love me. That is a hard realization. But, if I don't accept this reality, my relationship with him may always be rocky.
A friend posted a link to this series on her FB page and I started listening it to it today. It is CHALLENGING to watch this, as it reveals God's high standard for us. I realize how short I fall of His standard and know that I need to work on this with his help.
Here is the link to the entire series:http://www.gethope.net/love-different
One thing I have discovered is that expectations play a lot in my "satisfaction" with this relationship. When I expect this child to reciprocate love, I quickly feel unfulfilled. However, this isn't true unconditional love. Unconditional love expects N-O-T-H-I-N-G in return - and that's hard.
It's hard to pour your life, your love and your soul into someone and get nothing in return.
One of the books I am reading about these issues compares the parent/child interaction to the spousal relationship. While this comparison isn't valid across the board, in the particular way he makes it, it is valid. One thing I have realized by thinking about the parent/child relationship in this manner is this: I cannot MAKE my child love me - it is HIS choice. And he may NEVER choose to love me. That is a hard realization. But, if I don't accept this reality, my relationship with him may always be rocky.
A friend posted a link to this series on her FB page and I started listening it to it today. It is CHALLENGING to watch this, as it reveals God's high standard for us. I realize how short I fall of His standard and know that I need to work on this with his help.
Here is the link to the entire series:http://www.gethope.net/love-different
Thursday, October 03, 2013
Gabor Mate Lecture - "Hold On To Your Kids"
This video is by one of the authors of the book which I highly recommend to anyone adopting an older child. If you don't have the time to read the book, take the time to listen to this lecture. It will be well worth it.
Wednesday, September 18, 2013
Induction
15 yrs ago today CP and I made our way to the hospital to await our induction into the exclusive club called Parenthood. Approximately 4:30 that afternoon, a very special young man arrived to bestow upon us the names Mom and Dad. It has been one of the best clubs we have ever joined. It is filled with highs and lows but I wouldn't trade my membership in this club for anything in the world! Happy Birthday, JA!
Sunday, September 15, 2013
My Sister
Back in July, SG made a very important decision. Unfortunately, due to a number of circumstances, she wasn't able to follow through on it until the middle of August. However, on August 17, 2013, SG let the public know that she is my Sister-in-Christ.
Thursday, September 05, 2013
Campfire
"It was a good night for a campfire."
CP said that to me at around 3:00 am this morning.
But I need to back up some...
Last night, CP and our struggling child went to the RV to spend the night. They have been doing this for a while to help with bonding/attachment.
When they arrived they discovered that the refrigerator wasn't working, so they set about to getting it started again. Our child went to bed and CP sat up until midnight reading.
Around 1am, God awakened CP to the smell of smoke. As he opened his eyes, he noticed an odd glow. He got up and discovered the glow was coming from the refrigerator. He quickly woke up our child and got him out of the RV. CP then grabbed his wallet and keys and got out. In that short period of time, the glow had turned into flames.
God is good!
CP said that to me at around 3:00 am this morning.
But I need to back up some...
Last night, CP and our struggling child went to the RV to spend the night. They have been doing this for a while to help with bonding/attachment.
When they arrived they discovered that the refrigerator wasn't working, so they set about to getting it started again. Our child went to bed and CP sat up until midnight reading.
Around 1am, God awakened CP to the smell of smoke. As he opened his eyes, he noticed an odd glow. He got up and discovered the glow was coming from the refrigerator. He quickly woke up our child and got him out of the RV. CP then grabbed his wallet and keys and got out. In that short period of time, the glow had turned into flames.
God is good!
Sunday, August 25, 2013
First Shave
Recently, BG got a job with our local grocery chain. We are so proud of him for this great accomplishment. At one of his orientation meetings, they explained that he needed to s-h-a-v-e his moustache. (Moustache!?!?!?) So, CP set about to teach BG how to shave...
That's one HANDSOME young man, if I do say so myself!
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